158 Relaxation Is A Skill

Before the main topic, we talk about some screen-based entertainment offerings. TV, video games, and one movie.

  • TV shows: 1923, Yellowstone, and The Last Of Us (Siena hopes episode 3 wins an Emmy)

  • Video Games: our video game literacy starts at Pong and ends at Frogger

  • Movie: Where The Crawdads Sing (Siena says to watch if you want to feel your heart crack open, which means if you want to feel good about human beings so much it hurts, in a good way)

And then, we get to the main topic which is that


Relaxation Is A Skill

Below are some ideas we chit chat about.

  • Working and Relaxing are not opposites.

  • It’s possible to work while in a relaxed state.

  • Relaxation has been known to help with anxiety, blood pressure and hypertension, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), insomnia, chronic pain, and chronic inflammation.

  • Knowing how to relax also makes you a more pleasant person to be around in general.

  • Western Civilization has a dread fear of aging and death. And this fear really seems to interfere with our ability and comfort level, when it comes to RELAXING.

  • This dread fear of our own mortality seems to be one of the forces behind Predatory Productivity Culture. You know the one. The one with tools, tips, apps, hacks, charts, systems, and seminars that rate and rank people and things based on ‘production,’ and assume that ‘faster and more’ is the same thing as ‘better.’

  • The mainstream message underlying our current societal and economic culture has, basically, been: If you work hard and are productive, it makes you a more impressive and valuable person, a person who’s “added value” and therefore earned their place in the world, proven their value in society, and therefore, a person who’s earned relaxation, or can be trusted to use relaxation responsibly.

  • In Predatory Productivity Culture, the “value” of relaxation and related things – like good sleep, meditation, etc. – is that: it makes you a more efficient widget in the machine of ‘production.’

  • The fundamental feeling of not-feeling-safe, not-feeling-at-home, not-truly-belonging-to-this-place, this Earth, this Life
means we think we need to earn our way in. Earn our way into belonging.

  • Consider this. What if
?
and we think this is legit: Relaxation is simply an expression of belonging to, and being at home, in this world, as a part of this world. Kind of like a hug. The end game of a hug isn’t about production. It’s simply an expression of belonging. It’s one of the ways belonging looks like.

  • The energy of trauma, including in utero and even ancestral trauma, affects our bodies long-term, often making it difficult for us to relax.

  • Our bodies can hold and store tension, be very tense
without us consciously realizing or feeling it.

  • An example of a mini Progressive Muscle Relaxation session (developed by Dr. Edmund Jacobson) is led by Siena starting at around 29:30 into this episode.

    • While taking deep, calm breaths, do a body scan; see if you notice tension.

    • Clench a hand into a fist and notice what that tension feels like.

    • Unclench and relax your hand and pay attention to what that feels like.

    • Move on to the next body part, like the other hand, then a leg, etc.

    • Doing this helps us get more skilled at the awareness of our own bodies.

  • If, like Toast, you get tripped-up or anti-relaxed, when it comes to describing the sensations in these kinds of relaxing meditations, then instead of trying to describe the sensations, you could do this. Direct yourself to Allow consciousness, or Let consciousness, be filled with kinesthetic sensation. This command to yourself doesn’t ask you to come up with words. It just asks for your consciousness or awareness to “be filled” with the sensation.

  • The CALM Flower Essence Blend or the CALM Flower Essence Blend with Essential Oils is formulated to help invoke relaxation.

Siena & Toast