27 The Quiet Despair of Not Living Up To Your True Self…And What To Do About It

*To jump to The Soul Care Collective BETA-LAUNCH, click here.

The problem is: that feeling that you’re not living up to Who You’re Meant To Be.

The problem is: you feel like your true self has a certain quality to it, but (for some reason!) it’s just not coming through to your real life. It’s so hard to be that person.

starry night.jpg

The problem is: you know what Henry was talking about when he said…

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
— Henry David Thoreau

Well, here’s the good news.


It’s not your fault, and, there’s a way to solve this problem!

The truth is that we live in a super, SUPER noisy world.

It’s kind of amazing that you’re even able to still sense the “still, small voice” inside you, that keeps urging you to Be More.

This urging is coming from your Soul, and it’s the voice for truth.


You’ve been inundated with other voices since before you were born.

  • authority figures like parents, teachers, coaches, doctors, or clergy

  • peers at school, at work, at the gym, at church or in community groups

  • culture at large, on T.V., online, movies, ads, government, industry


There are voices in your head.

You’ve been surrounded by them, and you internalized them.

And their messages got hardened into what’s called a paradigm

A PARADIGM is a mental model of reality, an assumption of how things are.

It ends up telling you what to believe about what’s safe, and best, and appropriate for you to be, do, have, and give.

Some aspects of paradigms are good: look both ways before you cross the street.

sad cat.jpg

Some aspects of paradigms hold us back:

  • Who do you think you are, to think you have something to offer to the world?

  • You don’t have enough influence to really matter, so just stay in the corner and don’t make a fool of yourself.

  • You’ve failed before, so just stop trying; that way, you’ll save yourself the work and disappointment.

Sounds harsh? But sound familiar?

The amazing thing – about you – is that, even through all of those other voices…

you still have the Voice For Truth in you!

Something in you knows – or at least suspects – those dark messages are not The Real Truth.

And you’re right!


To overcome the dark messages and actually act on The Real Truth, you need to change your paradigms.

sunset silhouette.jpg

There are two ways to change paradigmS:

  1. with a strong emotional experience

  2. with consistent repeated exposure to, and engagement with, the new paradigms

#1 is what’s sometimes called a “come to Jesus moment.”

It can be ‘good’ or ‘bad.’

  • a dire health diagnosis

  • being fired

  • falling in love

  • finding out your partner is cheating on you

  • the death of a loved one

  • the birth of a child

The super tricky thing is…

As powerful as “come to Jesus moments” are,

red autumn leaves path.jpg

a new paradigm won’t stick…unless we have consistent reinforcement

pink lotus.jpg

We’ve all experienced this.

It’s so frustrating!

You have a moment, or even a week, of glorious inspiration!

It feels life-changing, in that moment.

But…you find yourself returning to your old ways, your life doesn’t really change.

How come???

You didn’t have consistent reinforcement.

That’s all.

Use it, or lose it.
— how paradigms live or die

You just need tools and structures and support to help you act out and act from, the mindset of the new paradigm.

Put another way: people who live in Japan tend to learn Japanese, even without a strong emotional experience (the first method of changing a paradigm).



They’re surrounded by tools and structures and are supported in acting out and acting from that paradigm.

You just need to set-up a similar situation for yourself.

seashore sunset birds.jpg

That’s why we’ve created The Soul Care Collective

The Soul Care Collective provides the tools, structures, and support especially designed to help you shift your paradigm, and make it stay shifted.

The vision is to help you Become Your True Self.

And to sustain you in Being Your True Self.

We’ve experienced the life-changing power of committing to this kind of program for ourselves.

But we thought…hey…wouldn’t it be even better, to have this support from people who I know are LGBT+ themselves?

Yes! Yes it would!

sunrise in meadow.jpg

We want to give you the consistent, ongoing support that will help shift your paradigms

Whether you’re LGBT+ or an LGBT ally, this is an invitation to you, to The Soul Care Collective BETA-LAUNCH.

What you’ll get each month:

  • Fireside Chat Audio Talks - to encourage Your True Self

  • Guided Meditation - short enough that you’ll do it, powerful enough to transform the soul within you

  • Journaling Guide - to help you integrate Your True Self even further

  • Q&A - submit questions anytime, and have them answered in a monthly audio

  • plus, quarterly random bonuses and surprises including music, recipes, videos, and more…all soul-nourishing!

begin coffee mug.jpg

This is a beta-launch, which means you have the chance to join at a super discounted rate that will not be available later. You’ll see the rate discounted for you automatically, on the BETA-LAUNCH page here.

One benefit of joining now is that you’ll lock in this low rate forever, as long as you remain a member in good standing.

The other benefit of joining now – if you feel this is for you – is that you’ll get the tools, structure and support for the You that you’re meant to be, sooner!

Also, if you’re wondering, you can also cancel at anytime.

The slots available during this beta-launch are limited. The cart will close when the limit is reached, or at the end of the day on 11/4/18, whichever comes first.

Hope to see you in The Soul Care Collective!

Siena & Toast2 Comments