155 Stories We Tell Ourselves, Pt. 1

There are two main points we make in this episode.

Here they are:

Point #1:

Everything we feel, think, and do, is a result of the stories we tell ourselves – the stories about ourselves, about others, and about the world.

Point #2:

We never know the whole story.

And here’s a little more detail about both points:

An example we use to make Point #1 is told in a song called “In The Baggage Coach Ahead,” from 1896, written by America’s first successful black pop songwriter, Gussie Davis! A similar example was used by Stephen Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, in 1989. Did he get the idea from Gussie…? 🤔

Here are the song lyrics, which (surprise) tell a story:

On a dark stormy night as the train rattled on, all the passengers had gone to bed.
Except one young man with a babe in his arms, who sat there with a bowed down head.
The innocent one began crying just then, as though its poor heart would break.
One angry man said, "Make that child stop its noise, for it's keeping all of us awake!"

"Put it out" said another. "Don't keep it in here. We've paid for our berths and want rest!"
But never a word said the man with the child as he fondled it close to his breast.
"Where is its mother? Go take it to her"--this a lady then softly said.
"I wish that I could!" was the man's sad reply. "But she's dead in the coach ahead."

While the train rolled onward, a husband sat in tears
thinking of the happiness of just a few short years.
For baby's face brings pictures of a cherished hope that's dead.
But baby's cries can't waken her in the baggage coach ahead.

Every eye filled with tears when his story he told, of a wife who was faithful and true.
He told how he'd saved all his earnings for years, just to build up a home for two.
How when heaven had sent them this sweet little babe, their young happy lives were blessed.
His heart seemed to break when he mentioned her name, and in tears tried to tell them the rest.

Every woman arose to assist with the child. There were mothers and wives on that train.
And soon was the little one sleeping in peace, with no thought of sorrow or pain.

Next morn' at a station he bade all "Goodbye, God Bless You" he softly said.
Each one had a story to tell in their home, of the baggage coach ahead.

An extra note about Point #2. The psychological urge to “fill in the blanks with a story you make up” is strong, because hey, we all want the world to make sense, and a story with clear cause and effect will make it make sense.

The down side to be aware of with that is: your made-up story might just make you feel better because it massages your ego, or makes other people (or things, or organizations, etc.) into the villain.

Which again, might make you feel good in the short term, but doesn’t really help in the long term.

This is why being able to live with mystery can be a very helpful thing.

One final note, as we mention in this episode:
Do not go to LoveAndAboveCatClub.com unless you love cats.
Cat lovers only!