167 Top 10 Things We've Learned In Our 22-Year Lesbian Relationship, Pt. 2 (#s 6, 5, 4, 3)

This is the second episode in this series.

(In the first, we talked about numbers 10, 9, 8, and 7.)

So here are numbers 6, 5, 4, and 3.

6. Use a personality assessment tool

The tools we’ve used are The 5 Love Languages and Clifton Strengths.

We also took an enneagram test, but it’s been the least important one for us so far.

Personality assessments help us understand ourselves and each other. Just the fact that an objective third party “sees” your individual and separate strengths and talents helps you to see yourselves, and appreciate each other.

5. Sex. Do It.

We talk about lesbian bed death in this section.

We feel sex is connective and important to maintaining romantic relationships.

The sense of passion that supports your sex life is supported by polarity. Meaning, a sense of contrast and dynamism in your energies as individuals, and the way you relate to one another.

4. Adventure & novelty are bonding.

Depending on their jobs and families and lifestyles, some couples need to make an extra effort to put themselves into new and novel situations.

We’re one of those.

Especially since we’re both introverts, we’ve really have to work at doing new and different things outside of our normal routines.

When we do, it’s always a bonding experience.

Because that’s human nature.

3. Accept your partner. Love them, not your fantasy of them.

If your partner did everything perfectly exactly how you wanted them to do it, how would you know that you loved them?

Maybe you just found them to be very very convenient for you.

Who’s to say?

Well, you can say, if instead, your partner does some things that you find difficult or challenging, that are not so convenient for you. And you love them and accept them anyway.

That’s love.